


chun-li

by everglowing



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Drug Use, Lots of sex talk, M/M, Mentions of lots of other groups, Multi, NSFW, Not GyuHui tho I need them, Relationships May Change, Textfic, WOO HOO, Weed, a chatfic, a mess, and talking about dicks, i can’t write actual smut so they’re just semi horny lil shits, i talk more about “past” ships than the actual ships happening lmao, lots of swearing, seriously this is rated r, theyre all super gay, theyre legal dw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-08 16:35:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14698116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everglowing/pseuds/everglowing
Summary: nuts: if you could have a threesome with anyone here who’d u choosesunny: why stop at a threesome when we could just have an orgy





	1. one: we’re in a chatfic, huh?

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes I’m funny, most times I’m this
> 
> dedicated to the gay dick gang <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally figured out why ao3 wasn’t letting me post the whole thing, emojis are forbidden apparently. anyways, this is just something to do when I want to write but can’t do anything ;-;

Seungcheol - **the daddy** ****  
Jeonghan - **the daddy’s baby** ****  
Joshua - **thotshua**  
Junhui - **mingyu**

Soonyoung - **bureora** **hurricane**  
Wonwoo - **jeonuwon**  
Jihoon - **dizzy**  
Seokmin - **sunny**  
Mingyu - **junhui**

Minghao - **picass8**  
Seungkwan - **booboo** **the** **cute**  
Hansol - **handsome**  
Chan - **the** **baby**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **[May 18th, 2:11 PM]**  
  
[ **chun-li -** ** _the daddy, mingyu, thotshua, the daddy’s baby, the baby, junhui, bureora hurricane, dizzy, sunny, handsome, booboo the cute, picass8, jeonuwon_** **]**  
  
**the baby:** oh no no no no no nooooooooo  
**the daddy’s baby:** what  
**bureora hurricane:** ?????  
**the baby:** a cHATFIC  
**jeonuwon:** what’s wrong w chatfics?  
**the baby:** i doNT MIND THEM BUT I DONT WANNA BE IN ONE WITH YALL  
**picass8:** fucking same actually how do i leave  
**mingyu:** there is no escape ^-^  
**bureora hurricane:** mingyu that is the most basic ass username  
**picass8:** mingyu is the most basic ass bitch so it suits him  
**junhui:** hey  
**junhui:** shut the fuck up you gnome looking ass  
**thotshua** : found another basic bitch  
**thotshua** : WAIT A MINUTE  
**thotshua** : DID YOU TWO SWITCH NAMES???  
**mingyu** : no  
**junhui** : no  
**picass8** : the most basic ass couple, pardon me  
**dizzy** : fuck is happening here  
**bureora** **hurricane** : we’re in a chatfic  
**dizzy** : why  
**bureora** **hurricane** : fuck if we know  
**dizzy** : k  
**thotshua** : so uh,, can we really not leave?  
**the daddy** : leave what  
**thotshua** : can u scroll the fuck up  
**the** **daddy** : well excuse me  
**the** **daddy** : someone’s cranky  
**the daddy** : no dick for breakfast?  
**thotshua** : yeah the grocery store is all out  
**thotshua** : dw you don’t need yours anyways i can eat that tomorrow :)  
**the** **daddy** : should i be threatened or turned on  
**the** **daddy’s** **baby** : for the sake of your dick you should be very afraid :)  
**the** **daddy** : i love you  
**jeonuwon:** what even is this chat name

 **bureora hurricane:** only the hottest diss track of our fucking generation cardinal b better square up

 **jeonuwon:** o… kay

 **sunny** : hey are we in a chatfic?  
**sunny** : :D i love those!  
**picass8** : seokminnie!  
**bureora** **hurricane** : bitch excuse you  
**bureora** **hurricane** : only i call him seokminnie  
**picass8** : hey soonyoung did you find the man?  
**bureora** **hurricane** : what man?  
**picass8** : the man who fucking asked  
**handsome** : oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
**booboo** **the** **cute** : buRN  
**junhui** : where did the two of y’all come from  
**handsome** : we been lurkin’  
**handsome** : so we’re in a chatfic huh?  
**handsome** : awesome  
**the** **baby** : not really  
**the** **baby** : no offense hyungs but y’all are horrible  
**mingyu** : ;~;  
**the baby** : y’all are horrible except for Junnie hyung  
**the baby** : and Seokmin hyung  
**the daddy’s baby** : wb me?  
**the baby** : you’re the worst  
**the daddy’s baby** : it be ya own son  
**the baby** : im not actually ur son sO  
**the daddy’s baby** : i carry you for nine months and this is the thanks i get?  
**the baby:** you what  
**the daddy’s baby:** these ungrateful kids  
**the daddy’s baby:** they think just bc they’re teenagers they can just abandon their parents  
**the baby:** i would like to be excluded from this narrative  
**picass8** : ditto  
**the daddy’s baby** : i gAVE YOU THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE  
**the daddy’s baby** : I GAVE YOU EVERYTHIMG YOU WANTED  
**jeonuwon** : yeah imma stop you there chief  
**the** **daddy’s** **baby** : another ungrateful child  
**jeonuwon** : you didn’t birth me  
**the** **daddy’s** **baby** : you’re all my children  
**the** **daddy** : no thanks  
**thotshua** : ew  
**picass8** : choke  
**sunny** : i’ll be ur child  
**the daddy’s baby** : this is why you’re my favorite  
**dizzy** : what the fuck did i come back to  
**bureora** **hurricane** : can we get back to the problem  
**handsome** : what problem?  
**bureora** **hurricane** : we’re in a chatfic??? where have u been  
**handsome** : why is it a problem?  
**the** **baby** : because, as Jeonghan just so kindly demonstrated, y’all are a mess  
**booboo the cute** : speak for yourself  
**the baby:** ¿what?  
**the baby:** dO YOU SEE MY POINT  
**jeonuwon** : we are, indeed, collectively, all 13, a mess, mhm  
**the** **baby** : leave me out of this  
**jeonuwon** : ah wae  
**picass8** : wonwoo i love you but never fucking say that again  
**jeonuwon** : issa day6 song hoe chill  
**booboo the cute** : oH I LOVE THEM  
**booboo the cute** : Brian is my bae

 **thotshua** : brian is the whitest ass name i’ve ever heard  
**booboo the cute:** okay joshua  
**junhui** : ain’t the name of the song i wait  
**jeonuwon** : shut up you salty dick  
**junhui** : i breathed  
**mingyu** : his dick ain’t salty  
**picass8** : you would know  
**mingyu** : ya i would  
**mingyu** : since i suck it every night  
**jeonuwon** : no,, he IS the salty dick  
**sunny** : are dicks supposed to be salty?   
**the daddy’s baby** : not if the person got proper hygiene  
**the daddy’s baby** : if you put a dick in your mouth and it’s salty take it out  
**the daddy’s baby** : salty dicks do not belong in your mouth  
**bureora** **hurricane** : what are you the dick whisperer?  
**dizzy** : seokmin don’t you suck soonyoung’s dick?  
**bureora** **hurricane** : please do not inquire about my sex life you little gremlin  
**dizzy** : bite me  
**bureora** **hurricane** : no thanks my dad says salty dicks don’t belong in my mouth  
**dizzy** : run  
**handsome** : i know i ain’t the only one who heard the vine  
**the** **baby** : a fucking mess  
**thotshua** : watch your fucking language  
**the** **baby** : wonder where i got that from

 **thotshua:** fucking jeonghan

 **the daddy:** dont mind if i do

 **thotshua:** gross

 **the daddy’s baby:** don’t be bitter, it’s not a good look on you :)

 **thotshua:** you would know since you wear it best :)

 **picass8:** uh… okay

 **dizzy:** for fucks sake, we’re not discussing whatever drama the three of u have in the first chapter

 **booboo the cute:** who made you the author

 **dizzy:** watch it cheeks i’ll let ur sass slide since you’re cute

 **handsome:** he just went “he called me cheeks”

 **mingyu:** so real talk who watched fake love

 **bureora hurricane:** me omg bts my kings

 **sunny:**  bst who? i only know fake love

 **junhui:** i still have no idea what’s going on

 **mingyu:** gyu baby you’ve been lost since hyyh

 **junhui:** nOT MY FAULT THE CONCEPT IS SO AWESOME AND COMPLEX

 **mingyu:** truuueee bts can’t help that either

 **picass8:** please change ur goddamn names we are all confused

 **picass8:** and tae outsang outtalented outdanced outsnatched outperformed outscalped

 **junhui:** fiiiineeeee

 

 **_junhui_ ** _changed their username to_ **_sun_ **

**_mingyu_ ** _changed their username to_ **_moon_ **

 

 **picass8:** still basic

 **sun:** fight me you undergrown root

 **picass8:** square up you sentient celery stick

 **sun:** cELERY? BITCH HAVE U SEEN THESE ARMS

 **moon:** those arms are very impressive

 **sun:** thank you baby  <3

 **jeonuwon:** i’m gonna puke

 **sunny:** mingyu :0 change ur username

 **sun:** why

 **sunny:** there isn’t enough room for the two of us in this sky >:)

 **sun:** then u change yours

 **sunny:** i’m older

 **sun:** i’m taller

 **picass8:**  y’all are the same age

 **picass8:**  mentally and physically 

 **jeonuwon:** snickers

 **sun:** ugh fine but only cause ur Seokmin

 **sunny:** :D

 

 **_sun_ ** _changed their username to_ **_caramel_ **

 

 **moon:** damn now i gotta change mine

 

 **_moon_ ** _changed their username to_ **_chocolate_ **

 

 **caramel:** are we going for a candy bar vibe?

 **chocolate:** yep ^-^

 **chocolate:** hao hao

 **picass8:** no

 **chocolate:** match with us

 **picass8:** no

 **chocolate:** :(((((

 

 **_jeonuwon_ ** _changed their username to_ **_nuts_ **

 

 **nuts:** come on hao

 **picass8:** i hate you

 

 **_picass8_ ** _changed their username to_ **_nougat_ **

 

 **nougat:** happy fuckers?

 **chocolate:** yes :D

 **caramel:** yay

 **nuts:** ot4 ftw

 **nougat:** perish

 **nougat:** all of you

 **the daddy:** so wait a minute are you guys in the same room?

 **caramel:** yep, jun and i are at won and hao’s

 **handsome:** seungkwan is by me

 **sunny:** soonyoungie and i are together

 **the baby:** i’m at the library

 **thotshua:** i am the couch

 **thotshua:** *on the couch but same thing

 **the daddy’s baby:** you’re breathing on me cheol

 **the daddy:** han i’m in the kitchen i can’t even see you rn

 **dizzy:** this sudden exposition

 **the daddy:** yeah there’s a lot of us so it can get confusing

 **the daddy:** i’m just trying to clear things up

 **dizzy:** for who

 **the daddy:** wym for who, our readers jihoom

 **dizzy:** jihoom?

 **caramel:** jihoom.

 **chocolate:** maybe jihoom will be our always

 **sunny:** jihoomst’d’ve

 **dizzy:** god i need new friends

 **sunny:** did u just call us ur friends?? =D

 **dizzy:** i meant acquaintances

 **caramel:** nope tooooo late

 **the daddy:** I screenshot it

 **handsome:** send it to me so i can print it and frame it

 **dizzy:** i’m leaving this chat

 **nuts:** hansol i want a copy

 **bureora hurricane:** me too

 **junhui:** me three !! ^-^

 **the daddy’s baby:** same here

 **dizzy:** why can’t i leave this chat

 **booboo the cute:** did u miss the whole part about us being stuck in this chatfic or??

 **dizzy:** i’m going to nap then goodnight

 **the daddy:** it’s 3 in the afternoon

 **dizzy:** i said goodnight

 


	2. two: why have a threesome when you can have an orgy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> of orgies and men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dear this went from weird to sex to idk jdjdjd i had to cut out piece cause it was getting too long  
> plus it’s kinda soonseokhoon focused  
> anyways i changed the rating and added some tags

**[May 19th, 10:10 AM]**

**_chun-li (13)_ **

 

**bureora hurricane:** jihoon just licked dog butt

**caramel:** sounds kinky

**dizzy:** stop telling people that, i don’t know you

**bureora hurricane:** bc it’s true :)

**booboo the cute:** always knew he had it in him

**nuts:** what kinda dog

**dizzy:** i did not lick dog butt jfc

**bureora hurricane:** a lil poodle

**dizzy:** why would i lick a poodle’s ass 

**nougat:** we don’t know, u tell us 

**dizzy:** i give up

**the daddy’s baby:** y’all are so weird 

**the daddy’s baby:** jihoon, i didn’t raise u to put ur tongue on animals

**the baby:** too late, he’s already sucked soonyoung off

**caramel:** tea

**bureora hurricane:** HEY I TOLD U THAT IN SECRET

**dizzy:** no idea what ur talking about 

**dizzy:** why would u tell him that he’s jeonghan’s child have u learned nothing??

**nuts:** i like how soon’s more concerned over his spilled secret than the fact that Chan just called him an animal 

**the baby:** I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret

**the baby:** didn’t jihoon, soonyoung and seokmin used to hookup anyways?

**bureora hurricane:** we don’t talk about that channie

**dizzy:** ‘twas a dark time

**bureora hurricane:** pfft that’s not what u used to say when seokmin was in u

**the daddy’s baby:** gross, there’s a baby here 

**the baby:** not like i’ve never been dicked hyung

**nuts:** wowza he just said that

**dizzy:** w o w z a

**nougat:** w o w z a 

**nuts:** shut up both of you

**the daddy’s baby:** channie no :( ur my precious child 

**caramel:** who has been dicked 

**the daddy’s baby:** shut the fuck up

**nuts:** un haeng il chi il chi 

**caramel:** he said it

**nougat:** who dicked u down chan

**the baby:** wonwoo hyung :)

**nuts:** i choked when tf did that happen 

**nougat:** ha ha very funny kid was it soonyoung

**sunny:** wassup

**sunny:** whoop y’all are wildin okay

**sunny:** it prolly was ;)

**bureora hurricane:** brooo whose side r u on

**sunny:** pfft u knw damn well u took chan’s virginity don’t even

**bureora hurricane:** well u took seungkwan’s so HA

**nuts:** nani the fuck

**booboo the cute:** why did i come back in time to witness this

**the daddy’s baby:** minnie u took kwan’s virginity??? 

**sunny:** unfortunately 

**booboo the cute:** bitch fym 

**sunny:** ur first time was horrible, u cried a lot 

**sunny:** it’s the times after that was good

**dizzy:** gonna neck myself and this chapter isn’t even halfway done

**booboo the cute:** isn’t it too early to be talking about our sex lives?

**caramel:** ya nan nallari woo

**nougat:** …

**caramel:** sorry superfly came on 

**nuts:** anyways. no it’s never too early for dick

**nougat:** -jeonghan, probably

**the baby:** i never knew about seokmin and seungkwan tho

**sunny:** like hoon said, dark times ;)

**booboo the cute:** i aspire to be as secure in my relationship as soonyoung and seokmin r tbh 

**the baby:** fr they out here throwing each other under the bus talkin bout who stole whose virginity first 

**dizzy:** hashtag goals :)

**bureora hurricane:** i mean we love each other and we talk about this stuff all the time so

**sunny:** we’re pretty secure

**nuts:** if you could have a threesome with anyone here besides jihoon who’d u choose 

**sunny:** why stop at a threesome when we could just have an orgy 

**bureora hurricane:** god i love the way you think fuck yes

**chocolate:** fuck me gyuuuu i want an orgy

**caramel:** i’d make the whole world fuck for you if i could baby

**nougat:** easy shakespeare 

**nougat:** let’s not get ahead of ourselves here

**nuts:** you don’t wanna be part of their love orgy?

**chocolate:** :(((( haoooo

**bureora hurricane:** yo come thru to seok’s place we’ll have that orgy 

**chocolate:** for realsies?

**bureora hurricane:** why would i lie to you?

**chocolate:** mingyu pack ur shit we’re having an orgy with them

**sunny:** bring a joint

**nuts:** shit wait if ur lightin up i wanna be there

**sunny:** u can film it 

**dizzy:** god can this chapter be over already wtf 

**the baby:** i wanna come!!! 

**caramel:** don’t we all

**booboo the cute:** if chan’s there then so am i

**sunny:** sorry kids u must be a 97 liner or over to ride this ride

**the baby:** >:( 

**booboo the cute:** aw poo

**chocolate:** i’m out but kahei is just a text away

**nuts:** what happened to jooheon?

**chocolate:** she’s cheaper cause i let her blow mingyu once 

**nuts:** solid deal

**chocolate:** ikr

**sunny:** where did jeonghan go

**dizzy:** the author probably forgot he was included in this narrative

**sunny:** oh

**the baby:** he means he probs couldn’t handle that soonyoung took my virginity 

**sunny:** ah

**sunny:** do u knw where the others r

**dizzy:** “classes” and shit

**sunny:** makes “sense”

**dizzy:** “yeah”

**nougat:** are y’all “done”

**sunny:** “no”

**dizzy:** okay i’m done now 

**sunny:** hshshhshshd kay 

**bureora hurricane:** why aren’t we in classes

**dizzy:** we’re only in classes when we need to be

**bureora hurricane:** ah

**nuts:** i like how jihoon is like the overseer

**nuts:** he knows what’s going on and shit

**dizzy:** someone has to, the author doesn’t trust y’all to not do what y’all been doing

**caramel:** what?

**dizzy:** talk about dicks and orgies and shit

**chocolate:** is the author really in any position to judge when all of her posted fics thus far have been smut fics?

**dizzy:** if you keep dissing her she’ll exclude you from our narrative 

**chocolate:** i’m her favorite tho so that’s not happening 

**caramel:** you’re my favorite too

**the baby:** isn’t he everyone’s favorite?

**nuts:** that would be seokmin 

**sunny:** :D 

**nougat:** hes def not jeonghan’s favorite 

**nuts:** minghao

**nougat:** what? it’s true

**chocolate:** jeonghan’s not my favorite either so we’re even

**the baby:** why not tho?

**dizzy:** ugh exposition time 

**booboo the cute:** can i give the back story?? pls pls plssss

**chocolate:** go on kiddo

**booboo the cute:** okay sO

**dizzy:** compact version please

**booboo the cute:** fiiiinneeeee

**booboo the cute:** junhui seungcheol and jisoo used to be best buds thicker than thieves cheol and jisoo have always been “close” tho (wink wink). even tho junnie was dating mingyu he never neglected them, but when cheol met jeonghan he grew apart from them a bit, shua esp. jun nvr liked han cause he ate into their “bro” time together and kinda made seungcheol focus only on him for a while

**booboo the cute:** there’s more stuff, juicier details but that’s the compact version

**the baby:** wasn’t that cheol hyung’s decision tho? to spend more time w jeonghannie? 

**booboo the cute:** sure it was

**chocolate:** he left out a lot, like how jeonghan hates shua too

**chocolate:** cause of the thing 

**dizzy:** don’t 

**the baby:** what thing??? u can’t tell half a story cmon :(

**chocolate:** jihoon doesn’t want me to say it yet smh, but it’s mutual hate between jeonghan and shua 

**the baby:** why does shua hate hannie?

**chocolate:** same reason as me, he came in between our perfectly stable friendship

**caramel:** stable is not the word i’d use

**chocolate:** well what word would you use mr. thesaurus?

**caramel:** oddly close

**chocolate:** what

**nuts:** oh my god mingyu shut up 

**caramel:** wonwoo and i have a stable friendship 

**nuts:** don’t,, fucken,,, bring me into this

**caramel:** oh come on we haven’t done half the shit the three of them have together 

**caramel:** it’s not a bad thing you guys were just closer than most friends

**chocolate:** ugh okay can we be done with this now 

**chocolate:** i’m gonna pass by kahei i’ll meet you at seokmin’s

**chocolate:** see u guys later 

**the baby:** bye!! igtg2

**nuts:** wait for me i’m omw 

**booboo the cute:** can i at least come w u two to kahei’s?

**chocolate:** uhhh sure alright meet me here

**booboo the cute:** yay !!! :D

**bureora hurricane:** see ya in a bit 

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
